Mother's Day Is Complicated — And You're Not the Only One Who Feels That Way

Every year, the second Sunday of May rolls around and the world wide web explodes with flowers, photos, and "the world's best mom" proclamations.

And for a lot of people? That feels... ugh.

Not because they're ungrateful or broken. But because their relationship with Mother's Day — or with their mom, or with their own experience of mothering — is a little more complicated than a Hallmark card can hold.

If that's you, you belong here.

When the Holiday Hits Different

Mother's Day can be heavy for a lot of reasons, and none of them make you a bad human.

Maybe you had a mom who wasn't safe, or wasn't present, or did her best but it still wasn't enough. Maybe you've lost her and this day is a grief attack every single year. Maybe you've been trying to become a mom and it hasn't happened yet — and watching everyone celebrate something that feels just out of reach is its own kind of quiet devastation.

Maybe you are a mom, and you love your kids fiercely, and you're also completely burned out and nobody seems to notice.

Maybe you're a stepmom who does so much and gets so little of the recognition.

Or maybe your relationship with your mom is... complicated or ‘interesting’. You love her. You're also angry, or grieving something that was never quite right, or finally setting a boundary that feels necessary and still somehow terrible. Oh, dear, this is relatable!

All of that is real. All of that counts.

The Pressure to Feel a Certain Way

Here's the thing people rarely say out loud: there's an enormous amount of pressure on this holiday to perform a feeling. Perform.

Joy. Gratitude. Celebration.

And when you don't feel that — or when you feel it and also feel something else underneath it — there's this sneaky shame that shows up.

What's wrong with me? Why can't I just enjoy this?

Nothing is wrong with you. You're just being honest about something most people are quietly pushing down. Go you for actually feeling a feel!

What to Do With the Hard Feelings

You don't have to fix it. You don't have to make the day mean something it doesn't.

But you can acknowledge what's true for you — even if it's just to yourself.

This is hard. This day stirs something up. I'm allowed to feel that.

You can step back from social media if it's making it worse. You can reach out to someone who actually gets it. You can hold space for grief and love at the same time, because they're not mutually exclusive — even when it feels like they should be.

And if you find yourself white-knuckling through the day, pretending you're fine while something heavier sits in your chest? That's worth paying attention to.

Not on Mother's Day, necessarily. But soon.

You Get to Define What This Day Means to You

Some people reframe the day entirely. They celebrate chosen family, or the people who mothered them in ways that had nothing to do with biology. Some people mark it quietly, privately solo. Some people let themselves cry, which is honestly underrated sometimes.

There's no right way to do this.

What matters is that you don't gaslight yourself into thinking you should feel something you don't — and you don't punish yourself for the feelings that actually show up.

If Mother's Day is stirring up something bigger — grief, old wounds, burnout, relationships that need attention — that's not a flaw. That's information. I work with adults navigating exactly this kind of thing. If you're in Missouri and ready to start talking, I'd love to connect.